Raising a three-na-ger in 2020
“It’s not terrible twos, it’s terrorist threes” -Unknown
Holy fucking shit
Sorry y’all, but that is exactly how I feel when it comes to raising a toddler. All. Of. The. Time 😱
I’ve had this itch to write about the terrorist threes phase for quite some time. But, in true form, Jaxson has not allotted me the time to sit down long enough to rant about his antics.
Finally, I’m drafting this as he’s at daycare (thank GOD). I just so happen to be “off” work today too, so this is really a prime opportunity.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I LOVEEEEE me some Jaxson – but seriously, holy fucking shit!
Grab your armor, we’re going to war
Every freaking day seems to be a battle with him. You never know what you’re going to get. One minute, he’s sweet as candy, and then *boom* the next minute he’s an erupting volcano 🌋
His terrorist (I use that word very loosely) ways have become so apparent and predictable (and by that, I mean I KNOW he’s gonna lose his shit eventually). After not seeing him all week, when Jayden and I go to pick Jaxson up from daycare, Jayden will say “I’m nervous and excited to see Jaxson”.
“Why?”, I ask. Knowing full damn well what his answer will be.
“Because I missed him, but he’s mean, and you just don’t know how he’s going to act”
All facts son, all facts 💯
Jaxson is a master manipulator as I’m sure most toddlers are. Right? He’s lucky that he’s cute because that’s going to be vital to his survival during this phase 🤭 Speaking of cute, when he’s done losing his shit, I get all soft when he comes over to hug me and tell me he loves me. As if to say, “I’m sorry mom – I know I had an out of body experience for a second, but I love you.” At least, I wish haha. BUT, I’m well aware that this behavior is very indicative of a baby psycho 🤣 Okay, maybe more so bipolar, but nonetheless!
Mine Mine Mine
Everything is Jaxson’s no matter how many times you tell him otherwise. Even the things that clearly belong to his brother are his and he will willingly acknowledge that as such. Yet still, it’s HIS. Even my boobs (which he still clings to for comfort) are his 😩 Either he is just that stubborn or his little brain really registers that EVERYTHING is his. Even as I write this, I can hear his voice haunting me saying “that’s mine? Mommy, that’s mine?” over and over and over again 🙉
Tempers and tantrums and falling out, oh my
No bullshit, Jaxson is probably one of the meanest kids I’ve met when he’s in a bad mood 😲 Fortunately, I haven’t met a ton of kids so hopefully that means he really isn’t the meanest. But in my small slice of the world, he is definitely the scariest ticking timebomb when he doesn’t get his way. It can be the smallest thing that will trigger him and then he just goes HAM on us 😨
Recently, he started doing this thing with his fists where he clenches them so tightly and makes this excruciating face. I mean, he definitely resembles Hulk, but it’s also one of his ways of expressing his anger. It’s lowkey kind of scary! When he does this, I promptly tell him to STOP because it seriously looks like the veins are going to pop out of his head, causing him to to explode into millions of pieces💥
Calm TF down
So what is my secret in dealing with my little terrorist? One of my tactics is Good Day’s calm chocolate. My sour patch kid thinks he’s merely getting a piece of chocolate but really mommy is getting a sense of peace (at least for a few hours) 💆🏽♀️ Win-win! I found this gem in Target one day. I don’t use it every time he’s trippin’, but for those days when it’s just unbearable – I gladly give him one 🤷🏽♀️
Another tactic: he’s no stranger to the threat of my $300 genuine leather thick belt 👀 Most times the threat alone is enough to straighten him out. He’s had to get a couple of pow pows before, but that was a result of extreme circumstances 🥴 I’m still laughing at his dad telling me recently that he can’t hit Jaxson with the belt because it’ll make him look at him differently. Uh, yeah, that’s the point 🤣 I say, instill the fear of God in him!
75% of the time I’m yelling at him. 60% of that time he’s asking me “why are you yelling at me, mommy?” or “why are you so angry, mommy?” 🙄 And all 60% of that time, I’m telling him that if he would just listen to me after the first or second time, I wouldn’t have to yell at him and I wouldn’t seem so angry. Obviously, those words go through one ear and out the other because we always end up back at square one 😒
I love my Jaxson. I love him soooo much that it makes my heart burst. But trying to discipline the bad parts of me (and his dad) out of him has been challenging. That said, I wouldn’t trade him or his vibrant personality for anything in the world 💓
When he’s sweet, he melts your heart 💗 He’s polite and well behaved around others which if I had a choice, I’d certainly want him to save his savage ways for his parents only. He’s proving to be very smart although he doesn’t sit still long enough with me to actually teach him. But, he’s excelling at daycare 👏🏽 He’s witty and wise and incredibly entertaining to watch, especially when he’s playing alone. His imagination is vivid and despite the turmoil he causes me, he still manages to bring so much joy into my life.
So I’ve decided that I’m just going to pray that his sour ways are just a phase. But, if they aren’t – can someone please sign me up for a monthly wine club? 🍷🙏🏽
Funny thing is, tonight has been a quiet night with him. Aside from a mini-meltdown because his brother drained out the bathwater, it’s been the easiest night I’ve had in a while. I guess the Universe knew I needed to finish this post in peace. So to that, I say, THANK FREAKING GOODNESS 👏🏽